Wednesday, 16 December 2009

Is it just me or are a lot of people in relationship limbo right now?

Let's forget me and my beef for a minute and look at my sister, who has just broken up with her boyfriend
of five years and is wondering 'what do I do now?'or my friend Lulu who has also been with her boyfriend for a long time and all of sudden his libido has vanished, they are comparing themselves to the local 'Brangelina' and she is wondering what the hell to do about this all.

Will he ever be the person she wants him to be?

Take also, my dear friend Sharky.Now Sharky and I have a bit of a history so let's start at the beginning.

It was a lovely October evening in a cosy, downtown music club. My friend Pelagia and I strolled over to the bar to order a little splash of wine and there he was, Sharky. Floppy brown hair, very gorgeous eyes and a bit of sexy beard.

He looked up and caught my eye and a teeny spark flashed up...
I don't know if anyone else has ever experienced this quite like I do but sometimes you just catch someone's eye and you know, you know?

SOMETHING is about to happen.

So anyway, I quite giddily floated back to my seat con vino and Pelagia knew straight away what was going down.
'Ooh, that barman is DE-LIC-IOUS'... so there we sat for the evening, pretending to listen to the music but
discreetly checking out Sharky's butt and speculating whether or not he was looking over at us.

That night, in bed, I was just settling down for some good old fashioned sleep when a teeny spark flashed up,
'1 message received'... Expecting it to be Pelagia I lazily cast my eye over the content only to find THIS:

'Hi, I'm Sharky, the barman. I hope you don't mind but I took your number off the pianist. I know I don't know
you but I would like to. We should go for a drink sometime'

So I said

'I was just thinking the same thing'

And he replied

'Good. Just so you know, I think you are stunning'

SO... That is how Sharky and I began.

The great thing about Sharky was that we both preferred the cosiness of indoor snuggling, rather than the
scary outside world so we quickly settled into the couch, or bed, and pretty much spent our entire relationship there.

The not so great thing about Sharky was that he was most certainly stuck in a very funny place. A place
that I spent ten months trying to reach but to no avail. There were lovely moments where it would seem that I
had broken through, but the truth was, Sharky was always going to keep me at arm's length and I would never
win his heart.

And so it was, that our relationship had to come to an uncomfortable end and we didn't really speak much
after that- it was best that we kept our distance, and because we didn't really have much else to say.

A little while later I discovered that Sharky had found himself a new lady friend to snuggle with and so speaking terms really were quashed for the time being.

I watched with interest from afar. Sharky opened his own business, which was beautifully decorated and successful.

Sharky even started to smile from time to time. I always remember a distinct lack of smiles when we were together, he was always so brooding, so to see him grinning broadly was really quite magical.

It was a new beginning, a new Sharky.

It had to be down to this new girl.
She was the one who broke the spell and brought Sharky back from the place where he had been hiding.

And oh! What a lovely Sharky he was. We started to talk again, and he even bought me some nice egg cups for
my birthday. Needless to say, Sharky and I slowly became very good friends again. I come home every night and the only person waiting there to speak to me (on MSN, obviously) is Sharky. We have nothing in particular to say, but enjoy bantering away about our lives and relationships.

So anyway, back to the original point about limbo.

It would appear that 'the one who broke the spell' has also broken Sharky's heart for reasons which he will not
disclose (he's always been very private has Sharky)

He is obviously a little distraught, and I truly worry that he might scutter back to his 'place' and hide there.

But so far, he's still with me.

I wanted to write this little entry with a message for my lovely Sharky.

So here it is:

Sharky, ultimately it seems that 'the one who broke the spell' might not be the one for you but I want you
to know that she has caused such a significant difference and cast such a wonderful influence over your life
that her part was entirely important and that this MUST not be forgotten.

While you may be in this 'limbo' where you are unsure of where to turn next, or who to turn to, it seems to me that these good things should be harvested and ploughed into a new season in your life.

Take the best from this and nurse your broken heart back together again.

But please, never go back to your hiding place.

I quite like you where you are, my lovely friend, and you'll be just fine.

(names and places have been changed to protect identity)