I'm not quite sure exactly why your residents are ignorant enough to think that I am stupid for being in this country and having a poor grasp of the language, or just thinking that I'm stupid fullstop.
Why do you think I came here?
And do you think that you can learn a language overnight?
Obviously not, when most of the schools in this fucking boring city teach you English from the age of 6 and yet when I ask you how you are you turn a funny shade of green and stammar something incoherent. Surprising also, that you can't even pronounce the alphabet after more than ten years of studying. And you're laughing at ME?
How about you show me some respect for having the guts to move here and try and do something new?
And allow me to apologise on Britain's behalf for having such a poor curriculum with regards to learning languages, but also allow me to remind you that this is something beyond my control.
And how do you think a lot of people learn English?
So next time I'm having trouble in the supermarket with a conversation, DON'T openly laugh at me.
Or else you might find yourself anally impaled on a large pineapple.
And while I am having a rant... just because I don't want to go out until 8am at the weekends to some rank club that is smoky and loud does not meant that I am boring.
It just means that I have better things to do than listen to shitty pop music, endure cigarette burns and spend Saturday afternoon and Sunday asleep.
I actually like to relax and enjoy myself.
Do excuse me.
Lo siento muchos.
Now, if you don't mind, I have a lot of marking to do. Not as much as I should have mind, you lazy bastards.